I’m Such a Wuss

I have issues with calling out sick. I spend the whole day wondering if maybe I should’ve gone. But this morning, after getting little sleep all night and feeling awful, as I faced the prospect of having someone observe me with a rather difficult client (with this observation determining whether I get a pay raise), I went

NOPE-NOPE-NOPE

Drawn by The Oatmeal

Once I feel fully justified in being sick, I get whiny. Really whiny.

“I’m boooooooored”

“Everything hurts

“Ugh I’m so tired”

And my favorite, “It’s like being on Jupiter with super heavy gravity pulling me down, and the only way to get it to stop is to sit or lie down.” At which point The Geek calmly said, “I understand the feeling.”

I realized that saying that to someone who has clinical depression is like whining about being assigned a one page paper to a master’s candidate whose thesis is due the next morning; at best blindly unaware and at worst downright selfish.

So I’m just gonna shut up a bit until I feel better. Besides, no one likes a whiner!

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Post-Retail Life and OMG Dungeons and Dragons!

A week ago, I quit my second job as a retail robot.

I didn’t really think it would make that much of a difference, just some extra time and a bit less stress.

Boy was I wrong. After even just a day, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

All of this week, as I’d come home from my real job I’d find myself thinking, “wait, I’m done?! I can whatever I want now?”

Thus, this week I’ve been sucked into the not necessarily “productive”, but entirely satisfying acts of cooking my own meals from scratch, working on my knit socks, reading a good book, and snuggling up with The Geek to watch sci-fi (he’s rather pleased to have a girlfriend that begs him to watch more Stargate with her…”C’mon, one more episode of Atlantis? Pleeeeeease?”)

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I’ve had just about nothing on my mind except “oh-my-god-how-did-I-not-realize-how-delicious-(cashews, sweet potatoes, or pears with cinnamon and bacon)-are?!” and trying to finagle my work schedule around with lots of last minute problems.

Well, I have been wrestling with the arc for the Dungeons and Dragons game I’m running. Oh yea, you heard me right – I’m a dungeon master! (I’ve seen this also referenced as a dungeon mistress, but….)

Unless you look very closely, this has entirely different connotations

I’m pretty pumped from last week – I made my own encounter, integrated it into a skills challenge on the fly and had a good time roleplaying with my group. From the little work I’ve done for tomorrow, this week looks to be even more awesome (and it’s so hard to keep from running to The Geek to tell him about it because he’s one of the players)

….

And now that I’m back from derailing with my dungeon master’s guide in one tab and the adventure in another, I should probably go.

Holy crap, it’s 10pm? I started writing this at 8. Whoops. I guess I should go to bed or something. More DnD in the morning.

Thoughts From a Wedding

(Inspired by Thoughts From Places)

Good afternoon, readers. Yesterday morning I woke up at three a.m. (uuuuuuuugh)

I’d asked for the day off from my signing shift at my retail job, and my boss promised to try to find someone to cover for me but shot down one eager coworker after another (hours are few and far between).

grumble grumble grumble and four hours later I’m free. Errands, family, and a nap all blend together until suddenly, holy crap, I really really need to get ready for my cousin’s wedding.

I suddenly remembered that the wedding present is sitting, still unwrapped, by the door.

I also apparently didn’t have any wrapping paper.

The Geek and I argued about whether it’s worse to bring an unwrapped present, give it to the bride later, or not give a gift at all, and I’m still not sure on the etiquette of that. (Though I did notice there weren’t many wedding presents, which tips me towards the return/pay back The Geek for his half side and keep the cookware for myself. I’m sure I could make up some sort of less awful excuse for why I couldn’t give it to her at the wedding, but lying exhausts me.)

My cousin is a supervisor at my work, and it felt a bit weird to say, “hi grandpa!” just before “hi (boss) and (another boss) and (yet another boss) and (boss I start with this week)!” and see them at the bar at the reception, but eventually the weirdness became white noise and I was able to enjoy the evening.

This was my first wedding I’ve attended as an adult, and it gets me thinking a bit.
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Lots of Love (and a bonus baked brie recipe)

I’ve been feeling pretty loved this last week, not just because of the big holiday yesterday, but really across the board.

Last Friday at work I took my intermediate competency test, which consists of a supervisor observing me and taking data on how well I do my job. It was a little nerve wracking, but my feedback came back almost all positive (my observer pointed out that she really had to dig for things for me to work on, and the words “phenomenal” and “awesome” were thrown around a few times).

Then one of my best and oldest friends came up for the weekend. It was really good to see him and get to hang out for awhile. He was very sweet and bought me groceries for the week, calling it a housewarming present, and pointed out at least a dozen times how happy he was to see The Geek and I. I also appreciated his sharp editor’s eye on my last post =)

I had work last night, so The Geek and I celebrated our Valentine’s Day on Wednesday in the low-key style that has become our norm. We made steak, baked brie, and sweet potato tater tots (I knew he’d love them). I felt bad for the upstairs neighbors since my overly-sensitive fire alarm went off several times, but with some strategic fanning and open windows we managed to not have the fire department bursting in the door.

It’s been a hectic, crazy week, so that’s about all I’ve got for today, but, if you’re interested in a cheesy, flaky, slightly sweet recipe, you’ll find it after the jump (and no, I’m not including a picture. Have you seen baked brie? There’s just no way to make that look appetizing!)

 
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Entering the Matrix

There’s something about this job. Sometimes it feels like entering The Matrix and seeing the base code that dictates what’s happening. Reinforcement, habit, and behavior are everywhere and entangled in everything.

Thankfully, I’ve managed to not let it interfere with my close relationships – that would feel creepy and manipulative. But for everyday, casual acquaintances, I find myself observing behavior and acting, at least a little bit, on my training.

It’s not just me, either; my co-workers and I frequently commiserate on work habits leaching into our everyday lives. Here are a few of my favorite stories, for your amusement:
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It’s Movin’ Time!

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That, friends, is not a stock photo. That was my room as of two days ago. You’re looking at a large chunk of my possessions, broken down and packed up for moving (yes, another move, because life happens sometimes).

While it would be great if I had a buffer of blog posts, scheduled and ready to go so you wouldn’t miss a single post of my scintillating commentary, come on now. This is the first month I’ve even posted regularly and had an inkling of what I was going to write about before the day the post was supposed to go up.

Even that, which started as an organized list with each day correlating to a post and a system of whether it’s been written, edited, or had photos added, has devolved into a list of vague ideas. “Bunny story” and “God I love routines” are actual things on that list.

As I scrambled to pack everything up, try and sell a few things on Craigslist, and found myself anxious about my attempt at a promotion at work, I tried to think of a good topic for this week. I decided that after a crazy week, there’d be nothing better than talking about a few good things that have happened this week (and since it’s a short post, I won’t even make you click the jump to read it. I know, I’m generous.)

  • As mentioned, a promotion I’ve been hoping for has opened up at work. Even better, I had one of my supervisors specifically contact me to tell me it’s available, which I take as a good sign that I’m a solid candidate. (This won’t stop me from being nervous about it, but it’s a start).
  • Since I’m moving this weekend, I’ve been trying to eat up my pantry and fridge. While sometimes annoying, it does mean that my breakfast this morning is hash browns with egg mixed in (like an omelette hash brown. Omelette brown?) with cream cheese on top. Don’t judge me, I’m avoiding food waste, ha!
  • Admittedly, I don’t have past holiday office parties to compare this to, but my company’s belated new year party last night was awesome. We played games for candy and hung out while eating free food and… you know, this sounds a lot less fun than it was. I think it was less the activities than the people involved; I work with some awesome people. It’s pretty telling that as an introvert, usually after an hour or so of hanging out I’m itching to be on my own, but at the end of the night I wasn’t just social but downright hyper.
  • And finally, it makes me smile that just as I was starting to pack up, I got the urge to MAKE ALL THE THINGS . I managed to resist the urge for most of the projects that caught my fancy, but I snuck in a little bedroom revamp and wall art I’ll be telling you about later.

That, folks, is about all the time I have. Wish me luck on my moving weekend, and I’ll be back with a real post on Monday.

Probably.

Maybe.

We’ll see.