Thoughts From a Wedding

(Inspired by Thoughts From Places)

Good afternoon, readers. Yesterday morning I woke up at three a.m. (uuuuuuuugh)

I’d asked for the day off from my signing shift at my retail job, and my boss promised to try to find someone to cover for me but shot down one eager coworker after another (hours are few and far between).

grumble grumble grumble and four hours later I’m free. Errands, family, and a nap all blend together until suddenly, holy crap, I really really need to get ready for my cousin’s wedding.

I suddenly remembered that the wedding present is sitting, still unwrapped, by the door.

I also apparently didn’t have any wrapping paper.

The Geek and I argued about whether it’s worse to bring an unwrapped present, give it to the bride later, or not give a gift at all, and I’m still not sure on the etiquette of that. (Though I did notice there weren’t many wedding presents, which tips me towards the return/pay back The Geek for his half side and keep the cookware for myself. I’m sure I could make up some sort of less awful excuse for why I couldn’t give it to her at the wedding, but lying exhausts me.)

My cousin is a supervisor at my work, and it felt a bit weird to say, “hi grandpa!” just before “hi (boss) and (another boss) and (yet another boss) and (boss I start with this week)!” and see them at the bar at the reception, but eventually the weirdness became white noise and I was able to enjoy the evening.

This was my first wedding I’ve attended as an adult, and it gets me thinking a bit.

First and foremost, I’m so happy for my cousin and her new husband. They make each other happy as well as better people, and I’m sure they’ll have a wonderful life together.

But…

This seems kind of backwards to me.

I get that it’s two people intertwining their lives and celebrating their love with all of the people they care about, but I think too often marriage is seen as an end result.

It’s the idea that you get married, and then you’re done. The wedding is a huge deal, but the anniversary each year is celebrated with a nice dinner or a gift.

I wonder if maybe it would make sense to switch that around. In our era of high divorce rates and massive amounts of financial stress (probably not aided by expensive weddings), I think it would be a smart idea to have smaller weddings but make a bigger deal out of each year you stick together.

Why not a giant party to celebrate staying together for ten years? Twenty five? Not hating a person after spending that much time with them, day in and day out, seems like quite an achievement. Maybe we should celebrate that?

…

Though seriously, what do I do with that wedding present?!