You can pick the friends that become your family.
I don’t mean to get super melodramatic here, since from the title you may be under the impression that I have some horrible family. I don’t. They are all good, generally well-meaning people and I do love them. However, particularly with my parents, I’ve been feeling a growing rift between us since they’ve discovered that I do not have any religious beliefs and neither does The Geek.
It’s a little hard to believe “Oh, we’ll always love you sweetie”, when it comes directly after, “we will never condone you being with this person that you love.” That was the conversation that left me so desperate for some form of maternal approval I just about called up The Geek’s mom (hello, second mother figure!) to get some, any, affirmation.
Rather than dwelling on the sad side of things, today I’d like to talk about the positive – the people in my life that lift me up and are family regardless of bloodline.
As is now becoming tradition, this last weekend I went to visit my friend for Seder. It was just as pleasant as last year, with just as many bad jokes and glasses of wine.
The Geek, our friend The Historian, one of their mutual friends and I stayed up late playing Cards Against Humanity because we are awful, awful people.
There was one combo that had us laughing so hard that The Historian had me take a picture and promise to blog it. I was fully intending to renege on that promise, but if you’re a bad person and not easily offended, you can find it after the jump.
(Six months later, I’ve finally changed “don’t” to “shouldn’t”, because, let’s be realistic here, what I should do versus what I actually do can be very different things)
I’m a fairly quiet person. I don’t generally consider myself shy (as in, afraid of talking) with one notable exception: when I really, really want someone to like me and/or be impressed with me. This is why, no joke, I’m fairly certain that The Geek didn’t really know what my personality was like before we started dating. (Apparently a smart, nerdy girl that plays video games and listens intently to him when he speaks was good enough.)
Since I don’t see his family a ton, they’re still definitely in this “if I don’t say anything they can’t think I’m stupid or incompetent, just shy” phase with them, which I realize logically is ridiculous but can’t quite seem to get over. Continue reading
In general, I try really hard to not rant. I try to be reasoned, to put myself in the other person’s shoes, and if all else fails, to remember that science has shown over and over again that venting actually makes people more angry.
But, inspired by my IRL friend who has started a hilarious blog called AnecDodo, I decided to try presenting this in a more amusing way.
Not about anything I’m actually upset about, like that bitch at work that acts all smug before she puts her work on everyone else, or the fact that my roommates and I seem to be irreparably different. No, no, like I said, that would actually do nothing and make me mad. This time, I’d like to tell you a story of my dad, and of birthdays. Not my 17th birthday, because AnecDodo’s already pretty much got that covered.
As a random coincidence, the birthdays in my family fall so that my mom and dad share their birthday month, my two oldest sisters share their birthday month, and so do I and the sister I’m currently living with, E.
A few days ago my dad texted E and me to see if we’d be okay with him holding a big birthday barbecue for us at our house; he and my mom would pay for the food and do all of the prep work, and our friends were welcome to come. While that’s a very generous offer and I’m glad to see the outgoing party-planner side of my dad I haven’t seen since I was a teenager, the last time my dad cooked at a sibling’s house several years ago has become an infamous family legend. Continue reading
This is the third year I’ve been invited to celebrate the first night of Seder with one of my good friends, but up until this time I’ve always either had work obligations or been intimidated by the prospect of squeezing into a studio apartment with 20+ strangers.
Man, am I glad I finally made it. Continue reading