I consider February 25th a pretty big deal. To explain why, I need to explain my awful luck with men.
I won’t bore you with all of the drawn out details, but my scorecard two years ago was as such:
- One early high school boyfriend that was actually gay, cheated on me, and was a horribly abusive asshole that spent hours screaming at me about how everything I did was wrong
- A late high school/most of college boyfriend that nearly flunked out of school, never had a job, was quite misogynistic and passive aggressive, cheated on me with a minor, and spent months on end supposedly trying to get me to break up with him before breaking down and screaming at me and breaking up over the phone (and has since contacted me over Facebook a few times looking for a hookup – stay classy!)
So it shouldn’t be too big of a surprise to hear that in the beginning of 2011, I was feeling pretty cynical about love and relationships. I had a brief, ill-advised flirtation that didn’t pan out since the guy suddenly moved to Canada, and afterward I was convinced that I would be alone for the rest of college, graduate, and be unable to find someone until I was at least 30.
Then, early in the spring semester as I was getting lunch with some friends, they happened to bump into one of their mutual friends. You know him as The Geek.
We sat down to lunch, and he made a joke about Manifest Destiny. My ears perked up – I’d never heard any of the guys in my teacher education classes make any sort of historical references. I was intrigued.
As I am unfortunately apt to do around anyone I want to impress, I became pretty quiet. But I quickly grew to have a crush on The Geek. He was all of the things I liked about guys – smart, funny, down to earth, geeky, knowledgeable – but without the side of douchebag I’d come to expect from the guys I dated.
Eventually I confessed my attraction to our mutual friends, who immediately yelled at me to go ask him out because it turned out that even with my shyness he’d grown fond of me as well (apparently after one of our hangouts he’d immediately turned to our friends and yelled “where have you been hiding her?!”).
And so two years ago today, we plopped down on his couch to watch a movie. We both slowly moved toward each other, goaded on by our friends, and it was pretty damn awkward. But it was also good.
The first few months were a blur, with me constantly thinking “this is new! Good, but new!”; having fights that didn’t end with someone shutting down, having someone respect and seek out my opinion and think of my as capable, and just plain having fun without the drama were all new experiences.
It’s not new anymore, but it is still good.
The Geek is proud of me, and tells me so often, but pushes me to be better. He’s pragmatic but affectionate and understanding, and puts up with my idiosyncrasies since I put up with his.
One day soon I’ll be Mrs. Geek, but for now I’m content; we’ve got the rest of our lives, and I look forward to the many years ahead.
P.S. As random happenstance would have it, today is also my parents’ anniversary. I hadn’t noticed it last year since we celebrated early!
Me: “Happy anniversary, Mom!”
Mom: “You too!”
… is a conversation I didn’t expect to have today…